I am currently almost completely blind, only able to make out light and color. I sometimes ask myself, “Will there ever be a day when I can see the world?”
I had significantly more vision when I was a child, but my eyesight started to deteriorate uncontrollably due to glaucoma. I still have memories as a 10-year-old kid playing Pokémon on my Nintendo DSi XL and watching Cartoon Network shows on my living room TV. I also remember seeing the faces of my loved ones clearly. However, those days no longer exist for me. I can hardly see what is in front of me. My entire world is essentially a blur.
There were days when I cried my eyes out. Sometimes, I was too depressed to get up, and I would refuse to eat and talk to anyone in my family. One day in January 2021, I was in my bedroom listening to a podcast on my phone, when half of my vision went blank. I kid you not, I could not see anything on the right side of my left eye. I began panicking and called my parents immediately. Obviously, I had to rush to the emergency room for my retina specialist to perform surgery.
I easily become very nervous for no reason, and I think this is because of all the trauma I suffered from constantly losing my eyesight without warning. This disease can strike hard one day and flip your life completely upside down.
My father convinced me to do some research and find out whether there are local athletic programs offered to the blind community. After doing some digging, I found that there is a Metro blind hockey team that meets every Sunday on Long Island. In September 2023, I decided to attend the team’s first practice. At first, I had no idea how to skate, so I had to hold on to the walls of the ice-skating rink because I would instantly fall if I didn’t. But I slowly got the hang of it, and my skating techniques began to dramatically improve. I mean, I was no expert, but I soon began skating fast around the rink, bumping into the other players and falling hard on the floor sometimes. This became one of the first experiences I genuinely enjoyed participating in. I have now participated in two full seasons, and I have made a monumental amount of progress.
One day, I was working in the city, and my supervisor told me about the blind baseball team that had been making waves in Queens. I have to say that blind baseball was just as enjoyable, if not more, than hockey. The sport does not follow traditional baseball rules but is designed to be inclusive of players who fall into different spectrums of blindness. Everyone is required to wear a blindfold at all times, and to rely on their sense of hearing and touch during the duration of the game. We run to first base by approaching a sound being played through a machine. Then we get to second base by running to one of the coaches who claps his hands loudly enough to hear from a long distance. There are no obstacles around the field, so it is completely safe for blind players to run around. We also have batting and throwing practices in which we try to hit the baseball with a bat and then throw the ball to one of the volunteers. We aim the ball in the direction of his voice as he is continually saying “to, to, to.”
I have met many fascinating people on both my blind hockey and baseball teams who are incredibly supportive, motivated, and fun to be around. One young guy named Trevor is actually a champion in blind archery! Many of the players are still in college like I am, and I feel a special connection to them.
I am feeling less like an outsider. Before, I felt like the only fish in the pond, but now I socialize with people who know the kinds of emotions I have been keeping inside for so many years now. I regret not joining these sports teams earlier, but I have a trusted group of friends now who make me feel that the challenges I am encountering are normal and that I am not alone in facing them. They truly help me stay positive, reminding me that strength is not about what you can see, but about how you move forward despite what you have lost.
The rise of assistive technology is extremely promising. Despite a cure for glaucoma being many years away, some of the world’s most prominent technology companies have come up with innovative solutions that all visually impaired adults should implement into their personal lives.
I often dream about a day that will change everything for me. But the advice that I would give to anyone is to take life one day at a time and not dwell on the past or think about the future too much. Instead, focus on the current moment and make the most out of what you have as of now. Also, surround yourself with people who genuinely care and want to support you in reaching your ultimate goals and aspirations. Never isolate yourself from the closest people in your life. I’ve learned to be grateful for what I continue to have in life; a loving family, a roof over my head, food on the table, and amazing people whom I can always call on.
– Jonathan Rubinov